27 years ago today, my parents were blessed with an evil Satan spawn under the disguise of a beautiful blond, blue eyed baby girl. You’re welcome family, it was my pleasure to bring excessive sarcasm, crazy hairstyles, vegetarianism and body piercings to the family.
You can thank me with copious amounts of chocolate cake and wine.
Now who wants to come over and make me filthy martinis while I work on my school projects tonight?
[Wow do I sound like an alcoholic?]